Aliens

So very foreign in thought and belief. Even when amongst those most familiar to me, whether it be blood-relations or not, I cannot tell them what I'm thinking. There's not enough time in a day. And maybe it's not the right time now. Maybe I'll have to wait to tell anyone anything.


That's why I have this blog. Who cares if anyone reads it. I hope this is not public at all- pretty sure I selected that option... anyway. I think I have been pretty sheltered which is in some ways good and other, not so. The latter is usually believed by the masses and has thus caused the results to be frowned upon most of the time. However, I will vouch for the former.


The world is constantly new to me. I think I heard/read somewhere that one should look at life like a child- things, events, the world itself will just be a constant wonder. Then there is the spiritual take on it with "Blessed are the pure of heart..." I don't claim to be that pure; the world's mud certainly gets on you when you're in public, even if you try to dust it off (it just stays on so you ignore it until you can get to a washer). But really, the idea of shutting, or sheltering, myself from what most would be deemed as enjoyable, exciting, hilarious, makes me want to be more optimistic about life. Maybe I feel this way because I haven't delved deep enough into the mud to see how fun it is, but do I really want to go there? (disclaimer: I do not diss real mud- it is actually fun- in the warm rain).


One time I was invited to a gathering of sorts and jokes sprouted, naturally. I only understood maybe 50% of them, with the other 50% being comprehensible through 25% inference and 25% selective listening. At the end of the night, I was mentally exhausted- both from boredom and from discomfort. Discomfort because I didn't really fit in and didn't contribute to the "fun". Boredom, because I really didn't see anything worthwhile and didn't get anything out of it. So I left, having wasted my time.