Sleep. It's what's for dinner.

Apparently it went to the dogs for a little bit. The first day/week of classes has started for the fall semester and I am pooped. However, if these freebie Tues/Thurs afternoons continue to be as freebie as it was today, then my 3-hr lunch naps are gloriously necessary.

5 classes on a Monday is just....(makes face). I need to really get in my 8 hours of sleep and I don't care if that's average.

(grip, grip)
(huff, whoosaah)
(pull, Valsalva maneuver, strain)
(repeat 2 more times)
(release slowly)
(fall and pant horrendously)

I just want to be able to do body-weight exercises without feeling like I'm about to die.


GOAL: MUSCLE UPS, 5 IN A ROW, BY DECEMBER. A S.M.A.R.T. goal.

"Humble"

There's this roommate of mine that causes me to feel a bit awkward, shifting from place to place and then hovers precariously over my head (and no where else!). For instance, I'll be at my bed or at my desk, look up, and THERE SHE IS. Oh my gosh. Seriously. The spider needs to skedaddle. I think I'll call her Charlotte.

After my shower, "imma bout to have me some" chocolate hazelnut butter. Out of this 190 calorie packet, at least the "organic evaporated cane juice" is second on the ingredients list and not first. Yeah, I'm taking a mini-detour on my paleo journey here...

Miss Marple, the Spinster Sleuth says...

"That's...quite perverse...It's not even music!" (The Secret of Chimneys)

I'm a bit afraid of the world.

I don't want any part in the lot of it because I know I can't. And if I attempt to, I fear that I will lose myself. Even if I try to "accept" or "tolerate", how can I if all I get back is "intolerance" or "unacceptance" in return? Because that's the truth, isn't it? Perhaps if "the world" saw this or had any idea that this goes through my head, I wonder if "the world" would even care. Perhaps I am just a statistic; a small probability that a person like me exists and that, based on this statistic, "the world" has little reason to even worry.

I noticed I get along with people when situations involve feats of physical prowess, or something of the like. Conversations ensue. You know, general interests in others all around. Given a situation where psychology in speech or visual examination (i.e. staring at people or shifting one's gaze to or from others) is the key medium of communication, I generally stay silent. I'm thinking that if I met the same people in the first example (e.g. physical environment) during the second (e.g. academic setting), I don't think I'd get on with them in the same way. Just thought that was interesting.

After not having television (with cable) for months on end, I decided to check the tube while doing some laundry. The result: incessant flipping through channels with only a hint of interest in National Geographic (when NetGeo doesn't have something outrageously stupid stated as "probable truth"). Yup. There really is no point, and never has been, to watching TV these days. I think I like my blissful ignorance of what media provides.

Blowing dust from the surfaces

Well, here I am again.

It's been ages since I last set foot within these walls of the boundary-lacking blogosphere. Well, actually, less than a year- though it feels longer. Currently Summer 2011. I am sitting here with coffee, I have no classes to attend (but still doing the school thing throughout the conventionally known non-academic season for others, who are not me- we got three freebie days from Physics), and with a slight bit of ennui, decided to check up on the mental musings of my past. I can still see things as early as 2006...which is kind of neat because I do laugh at the stuff I've written, some lame and some pretty cheeky, and it doesn't actually bring about any sadness that may come with reminiscing. I think a little update would be nice. A little then-and-now, so to speak.

Still "CrossFitting". Since August 2009, I've made considerable improvements. After referencing this post and this post:

Shoulder press: TBD

Back squat: 275 lbs

Deadlift: +250 lbs

Clean: 165 lbs

2-mile: haven't checked but running still sucks.

Calluses torn: lost count

Weight: really haven't checked

Ok, so I'm not very good at keeping these records organized but they're researchable to some extent. Hey, it's summer, and while I'm still a student, I don't want to think right now.

On the academic side, I am a double major towards baccalaureate degrees in Athletic Training and Rehabilitative Science. Not exactly pre-med degrees or degree tracks but some say I should highly consider it. At this point in life, I'd like to finally be free of traditional schooling and head into the "Real World"; join the work force and whatnot. Make a difference, really. I'll consider those food chemistry, kinesiology, and orthopedic surgery endeavors later on. Still, it's such a irritating waiting game. People my age these days (I think) have gone on to bigger and better things; earned their graduate degrees, dabbing into the professional world, having families, living life... I sometimes think I'm too old for where I am and that I am missing out on the experiences I could gather now for the future. It's like I'm re-living my early 20's...granted I only turned 25 not too long ago, but I ain't getting any younger! I'm such a lost, little soul. Must refocus.

On the health side, the CrossFit deal has been helping, as is manifested in strength gains. As with physical appearance, I still agnoize over what flubber I have left over. It shouldn't be a matter of aesthetics...but it is! Ugh. Lord, please increase my level of humility; help me to overcome this wasteful vanity. Actually, I think everyday increases my humility levels...probably should be careful for what I pray for but what can't hurt me can only make me stronger right?

Alright. By now I'm only falling into pits of rubbish thinking. With all this effort on writing a blog I should be diverting it into the prolific works of finishing social psychology assignments. Yes. Onward to productivity.

Objective: More calm. Less spaz.

Don't do very well with taking care of my blogs, do I? Full of random stuff, little evidence of a theme... well, that is the theme of life so there.

I have taken interest in the subject of emotions and the challenge of controlling them. If I feel some pain, let the face relax. If I am an idiot, refrain from "doh". If I am depressed, remember how lucky I am to be alive and quit acting like a wuss. Simple 'nuff.

What can go wrong will go wrong.

As much as I feel like I'm the most typical person that this law applies to, I'm sure everyone has an equal chance of having what can go wrong to indeed go wrong.

Two days ago I tore my hands during a workout, and the next time I showed up at the gym, the prescribed workout called for kettlebells and pullups. I, being the stupid idiot that I am, shut my trap about having already torn my calluses, and only allowed myself to tear them again.

This is not "man-ing up". This is plain idiocy. I needed to shave my calluses or do without chalk and work on grip strength- sweat only contributes an added challenge. Calluses can only go so far before they tear. And I hate the phrase "man up". People, stop saying that! Don't turn me into a radical feminist.

Why, when it seems like life is dandy with myself and those around me, do I meet the most uniquely stubborn individuals I have ever heard of, who almost would agree with everything I am saying, but only disagree because I am saying what is true in my own words? Why do I feel like I am arguing, defending myself, for no reason? I'm probably not even defending myself so much as I am not knowing how to walk away and not let my pride feel a thing.